Get over it!
Forgive and Forget!
Cut it out!
Let it go!
Sound familiar? So many of my clients come to me at times when they are ripping themselves apart inside with the cancerous fallout from stuffing down guilt, shame, anger, & hurt. All they want to do is to get over it, forget it, leave it behind ….and heal. All they can seem to achieve is feeling guilt, shame, self-doubt, and embarrassment.
As I grow as a person and as a healer, I have been learning that shame, guilt, self-doubt, and embarrassment are not from God or the Higher Consciousness. These are tools used by one man to control another. As children we were taught to feel these things when we acted in undesirable ways. They served as effective tools for developing our social behaviors and understanding of what is acceptable treatment of others. However, when we allow these things to get stuck in our consciousness as a constant reminder of being “less” than what we “should be”, those tools can turn into weapons of self-destruction. Because we can easily become obsessed with self-critical ruminations over our failure to live up to our ideal behavior and words, we become less able to direct our attention outward, focusing on our passion and purpose – our calling to serve humanity and this planet in our own uniquely gifted way.
Feeling shame, guilt, self-doubt and embarrassment AT TIMES is a good thing. They are conditioning and learning tools that shape future decisions and assist us in manifesting our own unique evolution. However, when we feel those things, it is important to FEEL them and allow them to shape the part of us that is evolving through that particular experience. It is also important to be truthful with ourselves and to acknowledge that while hind-sight is always clearer, we made the best choices we knew how with the knowledge, maturity, and life-experience we had at that time. We must permit ourselves to recognize the evolutionary shift we just experienced and allow the self-deprecating feelings to wash over us like water, revealing a freshly cleaned surface with deeper qualities and maturity. Embrace the event that marked the evolutionary shift and celebrate the learning and wisdom gained.
While facilitating a healing session for a client who was stuck in these self-defeating emotions and thought patterns, I saw a vision of colors. I saw that when we continue to add white to any color (white is most often associated with “good”), it will initially create various tints of color and then eventually bleach the color out… As beautiful as white can be, it would be pretty bland if we were all pure as the whitest snow! However when black is added to colors (black is often associated with “bad”), new shades are created and a sense of depth is achieved and in some cases…even completely new colors!
Wikipedia describes if more eloquently than I:
“…It is common among some artistic painters to darken a paint color by adding black paint—producing colors called shades—or to lighten a color by adding white—producing colors called tints….For instance, darkening a color by adding black can cause colors such as yellows, reds and oranges, to shift toward the greenish or bluish part of the spectrum….” (“Tints and Shades”, Wikipedia®, October 25th, 2015)
Those of you familiar with the chakra system (energy centers in our etheric bodies) will appreciate the imagery here! When we add black to Red (Red is associated with the root chakra, grounding, survival, self-preservation, tribal beliefs, etc…), Orange (Orange is associated with the sacral chakra, well-being, sexuality, emotions, etc…), and to Yellow (Yellow is associated with the solar plexus, will, self-esteem, power, self-expression, etc…), we shift the colors toward Green (Green is associated with the heart, compassion, love, integration, self-acceptance, etc…) and Blue (Blue is associated with the throat, communication, self-expression, authenticity, etc…).
In other words, we have to embrace those very things we want to hide or eradicate from our existence in order to move our development from the lower 3 chakras to the upper 4 chakras, which are associated with love, authenticity, and spiritual maturity! The darker parts of our evolution are what give us depth to draw from for knowledge, discernment, empathy, love, authenticity, diplomacy, and generosity. When we own the darker, more hidden parts of our humanity and recognize their importance and necessity for our growth and development, we can pursue our passions unhindered by being a “house divided”. Furthermore, we can foster a sense of acceptance, nurturing and safety for those in our path who are weighted down by their own desperate attempts to mask their inability to just “get over it”.
Embrace your “dark side”, your undesirable traits, your embarrassing and shameful moments & memories. Own them, feel the realness of the emotions as they wash over you, and incorporate those experiences into your being like stirring up a new can of paint. Then step out into the world as a more centered, grounded being with all the depth, wisdom and feeling you have gained from those experiences. Find within yourself the boldness to add diversity to your world ….WITH COLOR! YOUR OWN UNIQUELY BEAUTIFUL COLOR!
Sometimes healing can be painful before it gets better. Should you find yourself stuck in the never-ending feedback loop, playing the same disturbing tapes and images over and over in your mind, second guessing yourself and feeling nagging pangs of guilt, shame, self-doubt, embarrassment, and sometimes even rage, I can help! Schedule a session with me and I will be happy to help you embrace and integrate all those traits, memories and emotions we try to “cut out”, while expanding and accelerating your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual evolution with Reconnective Healing®. Contact me by email firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone at (615)848-8574 to schedule your healing session.